DO LIFE NOW PAY IT FORWARD SMELL THE FLOWERS

It has been a long time since I posted and mostly due to my own self pity, boredom and laziness. I am still not working and my online web work is null and void. The site I was writing for went down due to the horrible state of our combined finances. I have tried to do my own page but it just won’t seem to gel and comes across and just another blog page. Am still thinking and trying to come up with a good idea for a working paying web site but can’t seem to get inspired. I had an interview the other day for a job with the state of NV but once again the fix was in or so it seemed when a young 20 something girl came in after me and knew one of the interviewers personally so I did not even get passed the first cut of applicants. My gut tells me the job will come up again in a few months when she doesn’t pass her 90 day probation due to poor attendance or lack of ability to learn the workings of a major government office and it’s procedures. I will keep trying since our illustrious Congress voted down extending unemployment benefits for the millions of hard-working people who can not find a job. One more promise made by our president to put people back to work. Hmmm glad I didn’t vote.

Mother’s Day came and went without much fan fare and so did Father’s Day. Hubs got the TV and stereo system upgraded with a new remote and things are working pretty good and we are also waiting for Apple to get shit together so he can get his new phone.
I did however get a new buddy. His name is Toby and he is a 3-year-old Maltese and is just the best pup ever. Smart loving easy to take care of and my shadow. This is Toby and all of our other animals love him too even the cats.

My son is home from college for the summer and is working at Office Max he is lucky to have a permanent spot there since he is really good with computers and people. He is only working part-time but is still something to save for when he goes back to school at the end of August. He is going to live off campus this coming year and so may not be back for a while since he would still have to pay rent and expenses to get home and back so Christmas will be the first without him. We are thinking about getting him a car so he has his own transportation at school and can drive there and back and not be dependent on airlines. It will take him longer to get here but won’t cost much more if we can get a car with good mileage.

I miss my Dad as usual this time of year and for some reason it is harder not easier and he has been gone for about 18 years. It might be because my Mom just turned 78 and we have not talked in more time than I can remember. Her choice not mine since I have called and left messages and she doesn’t call back. Her loss not mine.

There are so many things going on that are really pissing me off lately and the anger is not healthy I know and I try to not let it affect me. The state of unemployment, the loss of homes, the health system and the oil spill that seems to have been ignored from the beginning and now is so bad it can’t be ignored but is still not being stopped. Just blow the damn thing up and close the hole that simple. Our country is just so disappointing right now I can’t even begin to sort out my feelings. I still try to do kind things for people and help in any way I can and not get caught up in all of the negative energy outside of my own little world but it has always been hard for me to detach myself from the world around me.

Well enough of the pity party for now things will get better all happens for a reason and soon it will come to light. Take care all who read my blog pass it around and comment good or bad input is helpful.

Remember always DO LIFE NOW PAY IT FORWARD AND THE MORE YOU SMELL THE FLOWERS THE LESS THEY MAKE YOU SNEEZE. <3

Well I did a really good long blog post yesterday saved it in draft several times and then hit publish and whoossshhh it disappeared just like that thanks world press. I just looked into using Microsoft site for blogging and realized it is google and sorry but am not giving them my phone number for verification. They can use my email address so not going there. Guess for now I will be stuck here but am looking for something better and more efficient.

So to try and redo what I wrote yesterday. Not an easy task since my writing style is generally from the cuff so to speak and once written it tends to leave the memory. Not efficient I know but so it is.

Since the beginning of the year I have had several social set backs both in real life and in virtual life. I was involved in an altercation with a neighbor in February then in March my husband had another altercation with the same family and as a result their teenage daughter and her friends threw rocks at our bedroom windows and broke 4 out of 5 of them. No proof and so now we have security cameras on our garage and new windows in our bedroom. On the upside I had the new windows made with a greylite glass on the outside and so it should help with cutting down the heat in the summer since our bedroom faces the west with no shade from 11am until around 7pm every day. It has already made a huge difference since now I have some very nice sheer curtains in the windows and have some natural light during the day instead of darkness. There has been a lot of verbal support from the authorities but not much else. Not a high priority.

On the social internet front I have cut down on my tweeting and am no longer writing for the music website due to unforeseen financial circumstances and issues regarding my lack of ability to concentrate. The latter is due I am sure to the trauma experienced from the confrontation. I am getting my thought process back and hopefully it will be better.

This past weekend I watched Avatar and I am stricken, mesmerized, enchanted, enthralled and also disenchanted. I want to live on Pandora and become a Navi or live and be something similar. I have always had hope that this world of ours would someday become what it was but have recently come to the conclusion it is a long ways past saving. We are simply filling time and taking up space until this round globe implodes or explodes or just goes dead. I cry for my children and their children and their children. I have three sons and three grandchildren and it hurts my heart to think of what we have done to the place they call home and how innocent they are to what lay ahead of them in their lives. The spirits are still here among us waiting to help us find the way to contentment and peace but I am sad to say not enough of us are listening and those of us who are will continue to go unheard as so are they. I am going to close for now but with these words that I always try hard to live by:

Remember a smile is free to give but priceless to receive so give someone a smile and it will enrich many others including yourself.

I had thought about starting a new blog page titled whynotaperctworld but decided to include my thoughts on that subject here and not start a new page. I have too many pages already and have recently imported my BlogSpot pages into this one. You will see my Just Me, My Life With Migraines here as well.
The title of this post “In a perfect world – Why not a perfect world” is something I have thought about, preached about, discussed with many and even argued with many over my lifetime. You see I was a prodigy of sorts. Having been born in the early 50′s 1951 to be exact it was a time of rebirth after WWII and the country, the world and my little town thought that all was safe and sound after that war to end all wars was won. I laughed; war will never end because we do not live in a PERFECT WORLD.
When I was old enough to understand the world around me my initial instincts were to run away. It seemed that all around me was chaos, negative feelings, people who only thought selfish thoughts and lied. I remember feeling or hearing in my mind the words “In a perfect world” there would be happiness, love, peace and fun. As I grew older those thoughts would change to include balance in all things like nature, humanity, religion and most of love. Love seems to be the one thing that can be so confusing, illusive, conflicting, hurtful, fulfilling and hard to find and hold onto.
In a perfect world we would know how to deal with anxiety without medications, deal with differences without jealousy, anger or rejection. In a perfect world what material things we have would be obtained based on need not want and they would stand up to the lifetime of usefulness not on the whimes of marketers who decide they need it to be better, prettier, faster or more expensive in order to pay for the new house or car for the CEO or Owner who already has more than he could ever use or need.
I started this post 10 days ago. I was right in the middle of a really severe sick period and the fever was too high to allow my brain to function. Thus I am going to try to finish this during the day today 10/24/09. So much has happened in the past 10 days, some good, some more than bad, some foreseen and some unexpected. Isn’t that life’s definition of a normal day? In a perfect world this would not be the case. There would be none of the before mentioned occurrences in our lives. How BORING??!! It may be safer, easier, kinder, gentler, healthier etc. etc etc. but it would not be BETTER nor would it? Some total idealists believe that a perfect world is where there is no suffering, pain, illness, war, poverty, etc. This world we live in, this round piece of rock floating in the atmosphere could not continue to exist if that were true. The circle/cycle of balance insists that all things must end. For life to continue there must be an end to life for all. That may be a harsh reality for some to accept but it is true. But I am getting ahead of myself here since I have not given a definition to the term “a perfect world” or is there really a definition of “a perfect world”?

A PERFECT WORLD?? There can be and are an infinite number of definitions to those words. To even begin lets break it down.

PERFECT is in itself unattainable. There is nothing that is perfect and the imperfection of all things is what makes all things unique. Humans have tried since the beginning of time to find perfection and will continue until the end of time. We as humans cannot accept the fact of imperfection being a unique and precious part of who we are. Even other living things are imperfect but they accept that imperfection as part of life.
WORLD again is defined by us as humans in several ways. It can be considered the rock we live on, the city we live in, the family, friends, coworkers and people we surround ourselves with everyday, even just ourselves. Our world can be as large or small as we allow. If we keep our world small to include just a select few, can we make it perfect, controlled unaffected by life’s cycle? Maybe!!BUT NOT!! There will always be intrusions into our worlds to which we have no control over and which will destroy our definition or idea of a perfect world.
So why even approach the subject? Because it is there and I believe others have asked this question themselves and may have or may not have broached it to others or even asked themselves the question out loud. I have and still do ask this and other questions of myself and sometimes others, but only if I feel safe *smile* in knowing I won’t be vilified or ridiculed by those others for saying the words out loud. A perfect world is real, it is surreal, and it is what we make it ourselves either in our minds, in our hopes dreams and aspirations. It cannot be nor will it ever be the same for everyone. The balance of life will not allow us as humans to control all things. The balance of life will take over at some point in time and make its own mark on humanity. It will adjust the balance we have undone and bring all things back to a sustainable existence. Humanity is not the controller, Humanity is just a part of the puzzle we call this world. The perfect world we seek can only be realized inside our minds eye or in our sleeping dreams. We can try to make our days better with consideration, respect, compassion, sharing of ideas, curiosity, acceptance of the circle of life and in the end death. We are not the end all of a perfect world we are not the beginning of a perfect world we are but a part of the circle and the balance is ours to keep.